How to Celebrate Without All the Food

Do you feel like food is always center stage when you're celebrating, but you're getting tired of the aftermath of all the extra calories that you are wearing when you always are celebrating with food?

Well, you've come to the right place.

I want to help you with celebrating and really looking at the role that food plays. We don't wanna vilify food, but let's explore some alternatives.

When Food Becomes Your Creative Block

Before I dive into celebration strategies, I want to share an experience from one of my clients in my membership. She has really struggled with her weight for pretty much all her life. There were a lot of challenges growing up around food - her parents used food to control situations, lots of control around food and power manipulation.

Over time, this created debilitating patterns for her. But it's been incredible to watch her learning how to advocate for herself and get the help she needs. She's not only working with me inside the membership, but she's working with a medical team and different therapists.

Here's what she told me: She said she really wants to show up for herself more because "I am a creative genius and I really want to tap into that power."

She made a goal to be creative every day - allowing herself to think about being creative, think about a quilt she wanted to make. She's also taking a writing course online and said "it's unzipping the creativity box in her head."

Because she's allowing herself these new opportunities, food isn't occupying as much space in her head, and it's making such a difference.

The Concept of Habit Swapping

There's this concept called habit swapping. It's a habit to use food as a celebration.

Back in 2018, when I got my first life coach, she challenged me to have no sugar and flour for six weeks. It just so happened that was in July, and my anniversary is August 21st. We usually always have our vacation the last two weeks of August - a road trip down to my uncle's in Montana.

We have all of our traditions: certain foods we take to the beach, our road trip food, all the picnics and lunches we pack. I thought, "How would I be able to have vacation food and be on vacation?"

It was really interesting to tap into my creativity. I realized:

• I can make cucumber sandwiches by cutting cucumber and putting meat between them
• I can cut more veggies and have more hummus
• Instead of ice cream, I can have really nice yogurt and keep an eye on the sugar content
• I can allow myself more fruit and enjoy that fruit
• I can focus on yummy drinks like bubbly water (I love flavored water!)
• I can use essential oils in water - lemon, grapefruit, mint
• Lots of herbal tea

The Anniversary Test

Here's what happened at our anniversary dinner in Montana. There was a smoked meat place, and the server came and said, "Oh, it's your anniversary. We have these homemade pies."

I was four weeks into my six-week commitment. I had to ask myself: What would I rather - would I rather honor the goal that I made for myself, or would I rather have this momentary hit of sugar or flour?

I still remember this. I looked at my husband and said, "I'm going to enjoy watching you eat this pie."

I remember being able to look at myself in a new way and have a new level of respect that I was able to say to myself, "I made a commitment for six weeks that I would do this, and I am being like my client - being a super creative genius and looking at all these different ways that I can honor myself."

Would it have hurt if I had even one bite of that pie? Absolutely not. It would've been totally fine. But the fact was I made a decision that I wasn't going to eat that the day before and that day, and I stuck to it.

Did we enjoy ourselves? Did we have lots of connections and fun? Absolutely. We had dinner together, we had fun together, we reminisced, we truly connected. That's what it's all about.

What Celebration Is Really About

When we have anniversaries and birthdays and weddings and all of these monumental events, food is just one way for us to show love and connection. But there are so many more.

In the olden days (I call them), we would go on a date and then go to Dairy Queen or the Dollar store for a treat. Or sometimes we'd go to the grocery store and get special ice cream, then come home and talk. We read lots of books together, went to the beach, or up on the mountain.

One time we had to water his coworker's garden, and they had a really nice back patio. We ordered sushi and ate it out there, just enjoying each other. We realized we actually don't need the ice cream to enjoy our time together. We don't need the chocolate bar or that extra treat because what we are really enjoying is just being together.

Now we go on walks, drives, to the beach. One thing I do is have conversation ideas in my head before we go - what are the ways I can connect with him?

Maybe for you it's:

• Special places you go on dates
• Certain hikes you take
• Beautiful lookout points that are hard to get to

The Doctor Test

I want to ask you a question: If a doctor told you that you were not allowed to eat for three weeks - let's say for a very special test and you had to take supplements or intravenous nutrition - and it was your anniversary, would you actually be able to enjoy your anniversary if you couldn't eat what everyone else was eating?

Another way to look at it: I choose not to drink alcohol. A lot of people ask, "What? How do you celebrate the New Year? How do you bring in the New Year without a glass of champagne?" That has never been my tradition. I never would even think about it. So how could I truly celebrate if I never have champagne?

These are the questions I want you to ask yourself.

What Is the Point of Celebration Anyway?

It is an acknowledgement. It's a connection. It's a belonging.

Learning to Belong to Yourself

I want to finish with this story. One of my clients has been on depression medication for 30 years. She's been working with me for just over two and a half years, and she has gotten off of her medication. It's been an interesting transition because she's not used to feeling so much - depression medication doesn't allow you to go so high or so low.

We had a call recently and she was really emotional. We were doing some internal work with journal prompts about how to connect with ourselves instead of with food. She was visibly shaken, so I asked everyone else to leave the call.

I asked, "What's coming up for you?"

She said, "I have never really felt like I belonged. I have always felt like I've been alone." Some of her first memories are from when she was four years old - her sisters said "we don't want her to come," her brothers ignored her, her mom was busy with a big family.

She never really learned to belong to herself.

Even though she has an adoring husband and great kids, she hasn't learned the skill to be with herself, truly connected. She's learning now, which is so awesome.

The False Connections

We have these counterfeits: food, shopping, being busy, overworking, doing things for everyone else. Those are false connections. They don't truly allow you to belong to you.

A celebration - we don't really need the food. What we really need is the connection.

Your Life Can Be So Much More

My challenge for you is to learn how to be with yourself and be in the moment of what's going on. The more that you can do that, the more you do not need the food, you do not need those false connections. I promise you.

You are your best investment.

If you feel like your life is a treadmill - you do the same thing, wake up on the same side of the bed, do the same things, and at the end of the day you're just gonna do the same thing the next day, and the next day - although it's predictable, it actually doesn't feel good because it doesn't indicate growth.

If you want to change, you have to learn the tools to interrupt those treadmill-like patterns.

My Invitation to You

My challenge to you is to be honest with yourself and ask: What would the quality of my life be if I could learn to interrupt the same old?

Book a curiosity call with me and say, "Dara, I want to be different. I want to change. I don't know how. I've tried this, I've tried that." Tell me all the things you have done, and I will share with you - just like when you come to the doctor and say all the symptoms - the reason you're having all these symptoms and why.

I know I can help you. I am an excellent coach. I have the ability to see what's really going on behind all of that. When you do that, I can promise you'll have such relief that it'll be worth the discomfort of clicking, making a call, and showing up. I promise you it'll be worth it.

Just like my client who got off depression medication after 30 years and is falling in love back with her husband and back with her life - that connection she never really felt before.

What would it mean for your quality of life if you allowed yourself that opportunity?

Your life is great. But it can be so much more. The tools that I teach help you do that. But to have true transformation, you need to not just watch the YouTube videos. It's like you can watch a YouTube video on how to free motion quilt or water ski or knit, but unless you actually go and do it, you'll never get there.

September's around the corner. What would it be like for you to take yourself back to school - to you school - and learn?

You're worth it. I promise. 

Ready to learn how to celebrate life without depending on food? Book a curiosity call and let's explore what's possible for you.