Why You Have Such a Large Fabric Stash (And What to Do About It)

I'm looking at my closet right now. I've got this lovely wall of baskets overflowing with fabric. And I know I'm not alone in this. If you're a quilter or creative reading this, you probably have your own version of fabric abundance.

Here's the question I want to explore with you today: Why do we keep buying more fabric when we already have enough for three lifetimes?

Before you think this is going to be a lecture about budgeting or organizing your stash, let me tell you – it's not. Because the solution to fabric shopping isn't better storage systems or stricter budgets.

It's understanding what you're really shopping for.

We Rarely Buy Fabric Just Because We Need Fabric

Here's what I've discovered through coaching hundreds of quilters: We buy fabric because we're trying to feel something different than what we're currently feeling.

When I was struggling with my weight, I thought the problem was that I liked food too much. The real problem was that I didn't know how to process my emotions. When I overate, I didn't have to feel my emotions so much.

Fabric shopping works the same way.

The 4 Emotions That Drive Fabric Shopping

1. Stress Relief

When we're overwhelmed, that gorgeous new fabric collection feels like a promise of peace and creativity. We think it's so beautiful that it's just gonna inspire us to get into action.

But here's the problem: if we're constantly stressed, we aren't able to be creative.

2. Excitement Management

When we're excited about a new project, buying fabric feels like we're taking action on that excitement. That excitement is trying to override a normal human experience – it's the difference between want and need from a very emotional standpoint.

3. Boredom or Emptiness

"I have nothing to do today. Let me just browse online." When we're feeling restless or unfulfilled, shopping gives us something to focus on.

The problem with this one? When you feel empty, it's because you're not having connection with yourself.

4. Connection Seeking

Everyone in the quilting group is talking about this new line. When we're feeling disconnected, buying what others have feels like we're joining the community.

I see this a lot with block of the month programs. You feel like you have to belong to the tribe. We all inherently have a drive to belong. But then we don't follow through on the block of the month, and we feel less and less connected to ourselves. And that feels terrible.

My "I'll Show Him" Fabric Shopping Story

I remember years ago when my kids were little. My husband said he'd be home early, but work got delayed and he had to keep going. I was so mad. "Here I am again with all the kids," I thought.

I sat in that office searching for this fabric line I loved. I spent time looking at different shops, making decisions, and I remember hitting "purchase" thinking, "I'm gonna show him."

It was interesting because I had that same pattern with Dairy Queen. I'd think, "I'm just gonna buy that Blizzard. I'm gonna show them."

I was shopping because I didn't want to process disappointment that my husband wasn't going be home and that I wasn't getting a break from all these responsibilities. I felt resentment. I felt guilty.

I was shopping because I was needing to reward myself for being a good mom.

The fabric couldn't reward me. The fabric couldn't punish my husband. But it was asserting some sort of power. I felt powerless because I couldn't come and go whenever I wanted.

That fabric? I did make an apron out of it. But the conversation I had with myself about "I'll show my husband" never solved the problem.

What Are You Really Shopping For?

Here's the exercise I want you to try. The next time you find yourself reaching for your wallet or opening a shopping app, pause and ask yourself:

What am I really shopping for right now?

• Am I shopping for comfort when stressed?
• Am I shopping for excitement when lonely?
• Am I shopping for control when life feels chaotic?
• Am I shopping for hope when I'm feeling stuck?

The fabric can't actually deliver on any of these. But understanding what you're really looking for? That changes everything.

How to Break the Pattern

Here's what I teach my clients:

Step 1: Notice the urge without judgment When I feel that urge to shop, I'm not gonna shame myself. I'm just gonna notice. "It's interesting. I want to buy fabric right now."

Step 2: Get curious Ask yourself: What am I feeling right now? What am I really shopping for? Not with judgment, but with genuine curiosity. Am I shopping for connection? Am I shopping for revenge?

Step 3: Feel the feeling Instead of distracting yourself with shopping, just sit with whatever emotion is there for a moment. It's not going to kill you, I promise. Emotions are just a wave that goes through your body.

Step 4: Choose your response Now you get to decide. Do you still want the fabric? Sometimes you will. But now you're making that choice from awareness instead of reactivity.

Why This Matters Beyond Fabric

You might be thinking, "Dara, what does this have to do with my weight or emotional eating?"

Everything.

The same pattern that drives fabric shopping drives emotional eating. When we don't know how to process emotions, we distract ourselves – sometimes with fabric, sometimes with food, sometimes with scrolling social media, or staying busy.

When you learn to recognize this pattern with fabric shopping, you're building the exact same skill you need to understand emotional eating.

The woman who asks "what am I really shopping for" is the same woman who asks "what am I really hungry for."

And that changes everything.

Your Challenge This Week

Before you buy any fabric online or in person, pause and ask yourself: What am I really shopping for?

Get curious about the emotions underneath the urge. Notice what you discover.

If you're shopping online, just put it in the cart and come back the next day. If you really want it, you'll be back. And then you can make that decision from your higher brain.

This course is your first step to saying goodbye to the shame and guilt that your fabric stash is causing you. Sign up HERE.

You're Not Broken

You're not broken because you have a fabric stash. You're not weak because you sometimes shop your feelings. You're human.

The goal isn't to never buy fabric again or to have perfect emotional control. The goal is to understand yourself better so you can make choices from a place of awareness instead of reactivity.

This is the kind of work that transforms not just your relationship with food, but your relationship with yourself.

Want to dive deeper into understanding your patterns? I have a free mini course on why we have so much extra fabric and what to do about it. Get it HERE.