The Myth of the Summer Bod: Let’s Talk About Shame and Self-Worth

Do you ever feel pressure to look a certain way in summer? The talk of "summer bod" is everywhere—from social media to ads to even well-meaning friends and family. But what if this pressure is actually rooted in shame rather than true health or happiness?

Why “Summer Bod” Talk Does More Harm Than Good

You’ve heard it:
"Get ready for summer!" "Bikini body goals!" "Cut carbs now!"

And maybe, like me, you're sick and tired of it.

I believe in health. I believe in taking care of your body. But not because you’re trying to earn acceptance or avoid judgment. When you pursue health out of fear or shame, it never lasts—and it never feels good.

So what’s the real issue?

It’s Not About Your Body—It’s About Shame

Let’s be clear: shame and guilt are not the same.

• Guilt says, “I did something wrong.”

• Shame says, “There’s something wrong with me.”

That quiet fear that you're not good enough? That’s shame. And it’s one of the biggest reasons women struggle with food, movement, and motivation.

The belief that “I must look a certain way to be lovable, worthy, or accepted” is toxic—and it’s holding you back.

A Real-Life Story: Confidence Over Comparison

In my coaching membership, we do things differently. We focus on losing the mental weight first—the self-judgment, the all-or-nothing thinking, the people-pleasing—and let the physical weight become a side effect, not the main goal.

One of our amazing members in her 70s recently lost over 40 pounds. But that’s not the best part. She was invited to do a trunk show to share her quilting journey—and she said yes. She would’ve said no before, afraid it sounded selfish or boastful. But now? She owns her story. She shows up confidently. She stopped hiding.

This is the power of doing the inner work first.

So What Do You Really Want?

It’s not about the swimsuit. It’s about:

Wanting more energy to keep up with grandkids
Wanting to enjoy hiking or travel without pain
Wanting to feel proud of yourself—without shame
Wanting to take care of yourself for you, not for anyone else

That’s what I help women do.

Like I tell my clients:
You’re not broken. You’ve just been taught to use shame as a motivator—and it doesn’t work.

Try Curiosity Instead of Shame

What if you stopped asking, “What’s wrong with me?”
And started asking, “What’s really going on here?”

For example:

• Instead of judging yourself for snacking, ask: Am I bored? Lonely? Tired?

• Instead of punishing yourself with exercise, ask: How can I enjoy moving today?

• Instead of fearing weight gain, ask: What do I need to feel supported right now?

This curiosity opens the door to real solutions—and long-term change.

Bonus Tip: The “Mind Movie” Trick

Want to rewire how you see yourself and your future? Try creating a Mind Movie—a short video filled with images, quotes, and music that represent the life you want to live. Watch it daily. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between imagination and reality, and it will start to believe what you repeatedly show it.

This is one of the brain-based tools I teach inside my membership. It works.

Want to Lose Weight Without Shame?

I’m not a typical weight loss coach. I don’t count calories. I don’t sell meal plans. I don’t push workouts.

What I do is teach you how to lose the emotional and mental weight—so you can:

🌼 Show up confidently
🌼 Create a healthy relationship with food and your body
🌼 Build a life you love—without burning out

And yes, the physical weight comes off too—but this time, it actually stays off.

You Deserve a Shame-Free Summer

Forget the unrealistic standards. Forget the old stories.
You’re not too old. You’re not too late. You’re not broken.

You just haven’t been taught the right tools—yet.

Let this be the summer you choose connection over comparison and self-respect over self-rejection.

Ready for more?

Follow me on social media @dara_tomasson

Or follow my YouTube channel (watch this episode there!)

Listen to Episode 207: The Myth of the Summer Bod