Is Your Relationship with Food Counterfeit? (And What to do About It)

This topic came from a coaching call with a client who grew up in a home where her father would eat the kids' lunches. If he got to the dinner table first, he'd eat more than his share. She learned to eat quickly because food was scarce. When she did have food, it felt like a treat – and she could never get enough.

She didn't know how to create joy and happiness for herself. Food became her source of happiness.

Sound familiar?

We All Have Different Stories With Food

Each of us created different coping strategies as kids:

• Some turned to food
• Some became people pleasers
• Some worked harder
• Some got angry
• Some learned to be quiet and invisible

Today, we're diving into how you change your relationship with food – because for many of us, food has been "old faithful."

What Does "A Relationship With Food" Even Mean?

We did an exercise recently in my membership: Why has food become your safe emotional outlet?

When I was a kid and wanted to talk to my mom but she was too busy, I figured out that a spoonful of peanut butter (or five) would bring me a little joy. I learned: if I'm feeling really sad, I can always go get peanut butter, chocolate chips, or make cookies.

Let's play a game. What do these foods mean to you?

Popcorn - Is it a companion when watching TV alone? Does it remind you of family card games?

Ice cream - Cold, creamy, soothing, comforting. You eat it slower, savoring it. Maybe you only had it at special occasions. Maybe it signified accomplishment after your dance recital.

Chocolate - Rich, creamy, you savor it slowly. It takes you away from your current thoughts.

Candy (jelly beans, sour candies) - Bite-sized bursts of flavor. You can process each one for a while. One after another, keeping you going.

Chips - Crunchy, salty satisfaction. It's like a friend.

Pop/Soda - That satisfying crack of opening the can. The playful bubbles you have to drink slowly.

Food as a Counterfeit Friend

One member wrote a breakup letter to chocolate-covered almonds. She loved the combination of sweet and crunchy. She'd have a handful every couple hours throughout her day. Her letter said: "I can only eat you on Sundays. I'm sorry."

Here's the problem: We use food as a counterfeit friend.

People disappoint us. Friends say mean things, move away, or change.

I once lived in a small town and became fast friends with another young mom. After four months, she stopped calling. I showed up at her house with muffins and asked, "Did I offend you?"

She said, "Oh no. You're just 10 years older than me. I found some new friends my age. Thanks for being my friend at the beginning."

Friends can be unpredictable. But popcorn, ice cream, candy, chocolate, potato chips? They're very predictable.

Want some easy swaps for those favorite treats? Grab my Food Swaps Guide!

Why Diets Don't Work

When we notice we've eaten more food than our body needs, we say, "I need to go on a diet. I need to stop eating so much."

But you're not looking at WHY you're turning to food. What is it about that pie that feels so compulsive? Why are you reaching for ice cream at 10 PM again?

You haven't done the work of asking yourself: What is it about food that keeps drawing me back?

You're using food as a counterfeit friend, and until you address that, permanent weight loss won't happen.

Stop Judging Yourself

I see so many women saying, "I'm so stupid. I shouldn't be struggling with this. I've run companies, catered for 300 people, run my house like a champ. Why can't I figure out weight loss?"

The problem is you're not resolving the actual problem.

For permanent weight loss, you need to slow down and look at how you're using food. These are difficult questions – and that's okay.

It's not that you're not smart enough. You just have a relationship with food that's not very healthy, and you don't have healthy coping strategies to work through it.

Late at night and you're feeling peckish? Grab this Late Night Snacking Guide to help you!

Make This Christmas Different

Are you tired of the same cycle? Struggling through the holidays, feeling guilty about every cookie, promising yourself Monday or January 1st that everything will be different – then finding yourself right back here next October, frustrated and starting over?

What if this Christmas was different? What if you actually enjoyed the season instead of dreading holiday photos?

What if you walked into 2026 already transformed instead of making another empty resolution?

Inside my membership, we dive into these difficult questions together. We look at how you're using food, why it became your safe outlet, and how to create real coping strategies.

You don't need another diet. You need to change your relationship with food.

Ready to stop using food as a counterfeit friend? Book a free coaching session and let's put a plan in place so you can actually enjoy this Christmas. Your spot is waiting, but not for long.