How to Enjoy Holiday Eating Without Feeling Deprived or Gaining Weight

You can't go cold turkey with food because we all need food. So how do we have holiday eating, not feel deprived, and not gain weight?

This episode is about how you can actually change all of that in a way that's healthy and happy.

The Great Dilemma

I talk about this big dilemma all the time: We know what we should eat, but we end up eating the cookies or the dough or whatever that is. And we think, "Why did I do that? I didn't want to do that."

Why Food Addiction Is Different

I have a family of addictions – several generations. My own siblings have struggled with alcohol and drugs. It's challenging because the traditional world says "just cut it out." They can put all their focus on not doing the thing.

With alcohol, drugs, or pornography, it's very clear: did I do it or did I not?

But with food, it's really hard. That's why I'm here to help you figure out what's going on.

What's Really Happening During the Holidays

I don't want to make this complicated because this is a busy time. The holidays are approaching, and when our internal dialogue is "It's go time, we gotta get going. What haven't you done? Look at all the things we have to do" – that's really stressful.

Our emotions come from our thoughts. The message is: we better get moving, we don't have time to sleep, we gotta go, go, go.

Now you've got cortisol going through your body, and it's happening when you don't even realize it. 95% of our thoughts are subconscious – they're under the water, like the undercurrent.

We question: Why do I have this zit on my face? Why do I wake up jittery? Why can't I sleep? What is wrong with me? Why do I keep scrolling on my phone when I want to be productive wrapping presents?

Understanding Your Emotions and Body

Our feelings always come from our thoughts. When we have a thought like "there's so much to do," hormones are like little cars that drive around and communicate to the body: "This is panic, this is pressure."

We get a release of cortisol. That's pressure, go time. And when that happens over and over, it leads to burnout.

But here's the beautiful thing: Emotions have vibrations, so we can feel them.

When you're thinking "it's go time," what's the usual physical response?

• Your heart starts beating faster
• You get sweaty or shaky
• You need to go to the bathroom
• Your neck gets tense and stiff

As we start paying attention to what's happening, we say, "Oh wait, I think I'm pretty stressed out here."

But if we're having a lot of sugar, flour, caffeine, or not sleeping enough, we're becoming numb to those feelings.

Taking Charge of Your Holidays

You know how to take charge – I know you do. But we need to take charge proactively. We want to say: This is what I want to do. This is my destination.

You are the traffic controller of your own life, your own holidays.

You're in charge of your own happiness. If something starts going off the rails, you say, "No, this is what I want for Christmas."

You're not bossing other people around, but you can control how you act. If you want your house to look a certain way, plan the times you'll be decorating. If someone asks you to do something, you can say, "Actually I've already got plans. I'm decorating my house."

Otherwise you're decorating at 2 AM and not enjoying it.

Why We Turn to Certain Foods

We can't quit food like you can quit alcohol. So learning how to redirect yourself is a really important skill.

Here's why we turn to certain foods:

1. We want to numb negative thoughts
2. If we're stressed, we crave carbs and energy
3. We're not letting ourselves feel our feelings, so we go to the fake false pleasure of food

Breaking Up With Unhealthy Patterns

Inside my program, when people join, I say: "You're not going to eat flour and sugar for six weeks." They're like, "Dara, you're crazy."

Here's why we do that:

First reason: How often do we eat food without realizing it? "I just ate that whole thing of crackers. What? I just ate that whole thing of cookies. Are you kidding?"

If we say no, we're not eating that, then we know. Just like no licks, bites, or tastes.

Clay Christensen has a great quote: It's much easier to stick to a goal when you make it 100%. Even if you make it 98%, there's that 2% where you're negotiating, which wastes a lot of energy.

Second reason: Your body needs a break. If you've had a stockpile of sugar and flour, your body is saying, "This is a lot. I'm feeling really overwhelmed with all the extra weight and lack of nutrients and minerals."

The Birthday Cake Example

I had my birthday recently. My friend made me the most delicious German chocolate cake – one of my favorites. I've been enjoying that cake all week. It's gone now.

I planned ahead 24 hours in advance. As I was eating that cake, I never felt guilty. I didn't overeat the cake because I knew how much I was going to eat. The process of eating that cake was lovely.

Contrast that to sneaking downstairs or sneaking to the drive-through. It feels like guilty pleasure at the beginning, but then it really deteriorates your self-confidence and self-trust.

The Santa's Elves Analogy

Think about Santa and his elves. They have their list, building toys all year long. They know how long it takes to make a bear. They're planned and organized.

But imagine there's a rush job for Santa's elves. They're trying their best to get everything done. My grandma Hazel had a sign that said: "The hurrier I go, the behinder I get."

These poor Santa's elves get overloaded, overwhelmed, and can burn out.

Think about your own body. If you're constantly feeding it flour and sugar, your body can burn out. It can be exhausted, sluggish, have brain fog. It's not working properly.

It's like putting glue through a machine. It gets stuck in places. No wonder you have PCOS, or irregular bowel movements, or can't sleep well, or can't think straight.

You're overloading the system.

Your body isn't meant to be a storage unit, and it's definitely not meant to extract weird chemicals from food to try to build your body with minerals and nutrients.

Guess what, I have a great freebie to help you make healthy food swaps so you know what to eat instead of reaching for the "old reliable," which isn't actually reliable. Get the freebie HERE.

The 5 Pillars of Permanent Weight Loss

Inside my program, we teach five pillars:

1. Weight Loss Science Is Simple There are four main hormones: ghrelin, leptin, insulin, cortisol. We have to regulate them. It's not complicated.

2. Create Your Own Eating Plan I'm six feet tall with Norwegian/Swedish ancestry. What I eat will be different than my friend Grace who comes from Korea. She has different needs. You make it for yourself – what works best for you.

3. Feel Your Feelings During the holidays there are a lot of feelings, expectations, and subconscious patterns saying "it's go time."

4. Take Responsibility for Yourself I'm not blaming my mom anymore. I'm not blaming my teacher or society. Everyone was allowed to say what they wanted, but I always get the last word. And stop shaming yourself. Take responsibility for how you feel.

5. Build Confidence This is the foundation for lasting change.

How Do You Want to Use Food?

This is my question for you: How do you want to use food for you?

Do you want to feel like you're taking really good care of yourself?

The more we can be clear on what's going on, the more educated we are, the better choices we can make.

We want to change the way we use food. We want to use food in a way that's going to feel amazing and awesome for us.

Ready to learn how to navigate the holidays without going cold turkey or feeling deprived? Join my coaching program where we work through the 5 pillars of permanent weight loss together. Learn more at DaraTomasson.com