The 5 Pillars of Permanent Weight Loss (And Why This Year Can Actually Be Different)

What are the 5 pillars of permanent weight loss? These are the foundations for my program, Love Yourself Thin. This is how you lose the weight, and keep it off. Let's explore what these pillars are so you can kickstart your weight loss journey!

You Don't Have a Knowledge Problem

Here's what I've learned working with hundreds of women: You don't have a knowledge problem. You have a thinking and feeling problem.

You already know what healthy eating looks like. You know you should move your body, drink more water. You're smart, capable, amazing. You've done so many things.

So why do you keep falling short?

This is what I call the knowledge versus action gap – the great dilemma of weight loss. You know what you should do, but something stops you from doing it.

What's Really Happening

Here's what's really happening when you can't follow through:

• It's not that you're lazy
• It's not that you're broken
• It's definitely not because you're lacking willpower

You are stuck in what researcher Kristin Neff calls your threat defense system – your reptilian brain.

Every time you criticize yourself ("Why can't I just do this? What's wrong with me? I should be better at this"), you're releasing cortisol and adrenaline. Your body thinks it's under attack.

And it IS under attack – from you. You become both the attacker and the attacked.

When your body is flooded with stress hormones, it eventually shuts down into depression to protect itself. And depression is not exactly the best motivational mindset.

The Game Changer: Your Mammalian Caregiving System

Here's the game changer: You also have a mammalian caregiving system.

When you treat yourself with compassion, with warmth, with the same kindness you'd show a good friend, your body releases oxytocin and opiates – feel-good hormones.

When you feel safe and comforted, you're in the optimal mindset to do your best.

Think about a father whose son comes home with a failing math grade.

The harsh approach says, "I'm ashamed of you." The son might try harder in the short term, but eventually he'll lose faith in himself, become depressed, and probably give up.

The compassionate father says, "Ouch. Wow, you must be hurting. I'm sorry. Give me a hug. I still love you. It happens to everyone, but I know you want to get your grades up. What can I do to help?"

Which approach creates lasting change?

The 5 Pillars of Permanent Weight Loss

These aren't quick fixes. They're the foundation that makes everything else possible.

Pillar 1: Weight Loss Science Is Simple

When we simplify something that feels really confusing, we can have a clear path.

You need to understand about five main hormones:

Insulin - The fat storage hormone. When we snack multiple times a day, we're constantly increasing insulin, which means constant energy storage.

Leptin - The hormone that tells our body when we've had enough.

Ghrelin - The hormone that says we're actually hungry and could use some food.

Cortisol - The stress response hormone. If we're constantly in this stress state, our body keeps storing energy because it thinks we're in danger.

The more you understand what's happening with your digestive system, the more informed you can be. You become a better steward of your body – just like getting your car's oil changed every 5,000 kilometers.

Pillar 2: Create Your Own Eating Plan and Troubleshoot It

I have women who lose 50, 60, 80, 20 pounds. I don't know what they eat. I don't know when they eat. I don't know how often they eat.

It doesn't matter because they're their own unique person. Who am I to tell them when and how often to eat?

They are smart, capable women. They've taken care of children, done jobs. They don't need someone to tell them what to do all the time.

The more you understand what's going on in your own unique body, the more empowered you'll be.

Simple things like:

• Every day I weigh myself and see the number
• What did I do yesterday?
• Did I tap into my hunger?
• Did I get enough sleep?
• Am I drinking water?
• Am I working through my stress or avoiding it?

The more you can be interactive with your own weight loss program, the more sustainable it becomes. You become the CEO of your own life.

Pillar 3: Feel Your Feelings Instead of Eating Them

One of the biggest focuses in my program is the emotional wheel. In the center are our core emotions: fearful, angry, sad, happy, bad.

Then it breaks down further. From "angry," we can dissect it into: let down, humiliated, bitter, mad, aggressive, frustrated, distant, critical.

Then even further: "critical" breaks down into skeptical or dismissive. "Distant" breaks down into withdrawn or numb.

As you learn more about emotions, you turn less and less to food, shopping, scrolling, sleeping, Netflix, naps, or exhausting yourself being super busy.

Pillar 4: Take 100% Responsibility for Yourself

This is the tricky pillar you'll never find in any traditional weight loss program like Weight Watchers, Noom, or keto.

Two main problems we fall into without realizing it:

Shame - "I'm not good enough. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much weight I lose, I am never good enough." That's exhausting and devastating.

Blame - "If I had a better mother who didn't take me to Weight Watchers when I was 10, I wouldn't be struggling. It's all her fault." Or "If I had a more inspirational teacher, I wouldn't be such a mess."

The more we fall into the shame and blame cycle, the less we can take responsibility for ourselves as adults.

This is where you start truly getting into your own power and becoming the CEO of your life.

Pillar 5: Build Self-Confidence

Your worth is already set. You don't have to lose weight to be more worthy. But that's not what we hear all the time.

Self-confidence is a skill we learn. Some people say you're either born with it or not – that's a lie.

We all build self-confidence. There are areas in your life where you're very confident. Others where you're not.

If I asked you to go get milk at the store, you'd feel confident. You know how to drive, you know how to get milk.

But if I asked you to free motion quilt a queen-size quilt with all-over feathers and you've never done it before? You don't have that confidence.

It's something we build and work on.

The Real Question

The real question isn't "What should I do?" It's "What do I need?"

When you meet your fundamental needs with compassion instead of attacking yourself with criticism, action becomes more natural, not forced.

Stop Wasting Money on Weight Loss

The weight loss industry is based on failure. They need you to fail so you keep coming back.

But what would it be like if you never had to worry about weight loss again?

If you're ready to solve the great dilemma – knowing what to do but not understanding why you keep falling short – these five pillars are your foundation.

No more frustration. No more wondering what's wrong with you. Just real transformation from the inside out.

Want more? Check out Dara's YouTube Channel for more videos and tools to help you!

Ready to build your foundation for permanent weight loss? Join my Love Yourself Thin program where we work through all five pillars together. You get lifetime access to the tools that help you understand why you do what you do, so you can finally create permanent weight loss. Learn more at DaraTomasson.com