How Hating Math Will Guarantee Your Next Breakthrough (Yes, Really)

Strange title, right? But stay with me. That thing you hated in school – math, English, whatever made you feel dumb – holds the key to your weight loss breakthrough.

The Real Reason You Can't Lose Weight

You don't have a knowledge problem. You have a thinking problem.

Most women struggling with weight are disconnected from their bodies. That's why the weight creeps on without you noticing until suddenly your pants don't fit. You're on autopilot, avoiding uncomfortable feelings, and your body pays the price.

My Grade Nine Math Trauma (And What It Teaches Us)

In grade six, I saw two elegant women speaking French at a restaurant in Ottawa. I decided right then: I wanted to be like them. So I committed to French immersion for grades seven and eight.

But here's what happened – they taught math in French. Learning a new language while trying to learn math? I missed critical fundamentals. By grade nine, I was lost.

I remember standing at the top of the stairs, yelling: "I hate math! I just want a computer chip in my brain!" I felt so defeated. So dumb. That feeling – that terrible pit in my stomach – I'd do anything to avoid it.

So I did avoid it. With coconut and sweetened condensed milk mixed together. Chocolate chip cookies. Cinnamon buns. Ice cream. Overeating at dinner to feel more full.

I was eating my feelings instead of feeling them.

What We Do When We Feel "Not Good Enough"

When we have these uncomfortable experiences, we go into self-preservation mode:

• Fight - "I hate this school, I hate math"
• Flight - Clean your room, organize, distract yourself
• Freeze - Numb out with TV, books, scrolling
• Fawn - People please ("Mom, let me do the laundry!")

Sound familiar? This is exactly what happens with weight loss when you feel discouraged or defeated.

The Member Who Can't Quit Bread (And Why That's a Win)

I have a member in Europe who's been trying to eat bread only once a day. Week after week, she comes to coaching saying, "Dara, I didn't do it. I was sick and the pharmacist said to eat licorice. I need help."

The win? She's not punching herself in the face and giving up. She's not saying "I'm broken" and quitting.

As we dug deeper, she discovered:

• She switched jobs after having her daughter and resented the new job
• She never talked about it (martyrdom with resentment)
• Licorice and bread became her consolation prizes
• She's gained 3-5 pounds every year since
• She's trying to eat like her husband (different metabolism, more physical)

Each coaching call, she discovers something new about herself. That's the work.

The Breakthrough I Had About Math (Years Later)

I eventually became a grade 5-6 teacher. And guess what I taught? Math.

As I taught those fundamentals I'd missed, I finally understood: "Oh, THIS is why we do long division this way. THIS is why multiplication works like this."

I wasn't dumb. I just missed the fundamentals. Once I learned them, everything clicked.

The same is true for weight loss.

The Missing Fundamentals for Weight Loss

Most women don't have these basic skills:

• How to have healthy coping strategies
• How to feel feelings instead of eating them
• How to allow other people to be themselves
• How to not take mistakes personally
• How to stop perfectionism from sabotaging you

It's not that you're not smart enough or clever enough. You just haven't been curious enough to see what's really going on – and brave enough to face it.

The Exercise That Changes Everything

Think about a result you want right now. Finished quilt? Weight loss? Better relationship with your husband?

Now answer: Why don't you have it?

What's your theory? Come up with some ideas.

Now: How do you feel because you don't have it? Discouraged? Frustrated? Defeated?

Let that feeling be in your body. I know you don't want to. But it's just an emotion – it won't hurt you.

Now ask yourself: When was the first time in your life you felt this feeling?

Let your body tell you. This is where your breakthrough lives.

You're Not Alone at the Top of the Stairs

Inside my membership, women get brave enough to say, "This is really hard. I don't feel good about myself." It's uncomfortable, but it's where transformation happens.

Just like with free motion quilting – I was terrible at first. I doodled on U-Haul paper while watching movies. Made ugly quilt sandwiches with scrap fabric and just practiced. It looked awful. But I kept going.

You don't tell a kid learning piano to stop making mistakes. You say, "Way to go. Keep going."

That's what you deserve too.

Your Next Step

What's the real reason you don't have the success you want? And what's it worth to you to have someone help you work it out?

That's what we do inside my membership. You're not alone. There are so many other women working through this, and it's incredible to watch their progression.

There is so much more to life than being afraid and standing at the top of the stairs, still feeling like you're that 14-year-old who can't get math.

You can do this. You just need the help and support.

Watch this episode (and more) on YouTube

Ready to face your "math trauma" and discover what's really keeping you stuck? Join my membership for coaching, tools, and a community of women doing this brave work together.