Why Trusting Others More Than Yourself Keeps You Stuck (And How to Become Your Own Expert)

How often do you find yourself Googling answers or asking AI for solutions? The more you outsource answers, the less you actually learn for yourself. When you trust other people more than you trust yourself, it creates a huge deficit – and you never get the results you want.

The Problem

Here's what most diets and programs tell you: "I am the expert. I'm gonna tell you what works best for you. Just listen to me and you'll have success."

This creates a relationship where you're not learning to create success for yourself. You're giving away all your power to other people, which takes you away from becoming your own best expert.

My Instagram Coaching Disaster (A Perfect Example)

Last year, I fell into this exact trap with an Instagram coach. I came to her saying, "I'm terrible at Instagram. Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."

For an entire year, I showed up every week, watched modules, even paid $800 for a one-on-one call. But I kept failing because I didn't let myself be a beginner. I didn't let myself figure it out or bring my own personality to it.

I was playing "tell me what to do and I'll do it" instead of learning the foundational skills I needed.

You Already Know How to Learn (Look at Your Hobbies)

Think about quilting. When you try a new pattern, you're willing to:

• Buy more fabric if you forgot to starch
• Practice different binding techniques
• Try various feet and tools for free motion quilting

Or piano lessons – if you just memorized songs without learning to sight-read, could you actually play music independently?

The difference? In your hobbies, you build foundations and allow yourself to fail and practice. With weight loss, you want someone to just tell you what to do.

Good Pressure vs. Bad Pressure

Pressure can create diamonds or crush a can – it depends on your internal structure and support.

Bad pressure examples:

• "I have to lose weight before the reunion"
• "I'll never be happy unless I hit this number"

Good pressure examples:

• "I'm excited to feel lighter hiking this fall"
• "I want to keep my promises to myself"

The difference is external shame-based pressure versus internal aligned desire.

How I Actually Lost 50 Pounds (And Kept It Off)

In 2018, instead of following another diet plan, my life coach taught me:

• How my brain works
• How thoughts create results
• How to feel feelings instead of eating them
• My relationship with food and why I overate

When I understood these foundations, I learned to trust myself around food. I didn't need to know "how" – I needed to know how it worked for ME.

Now when my weight fluctuates (like going from 157 to 160 pounds), I can get back to my comfortable 155 because I'M the one who created the result. I'm the scientist of my own body.

The 5 Pillars of Permanent Weight Loss

Instead of relying on experts forever, here's how to become your own expert:

1. Weight Loss Science – Learn the simple basics (4 key hormones, how fat storage works)
2. Make Your Own Eating Plan – Create it, test it, troubleshoot it yourself
3. Feel Your Feelings – Instead of eating when sad, learn to just be sad
4. Take Responsibility – Stop shaming and blaming, use Emotional Adulthood
5. Build Self-Confidence – Through small wins and keeping promises to yourself

Real Results: From Pink Drinks to True Connection

One of my members used to reward herself with Starbucks runs – pink drinks and pumpkin loaf. But these weren't true rewards, just temporary connections.

She created a real reward list:

• Hanging out with her sister and brother-in-law
• Reading a book guilt-free for an hour
• Visiting with a friend who needs support

These activities fill her bucket AND create genuine connection. That's the difference between following someone else's plan and creating your own.

Your Foundation Building Plan

My 90-day workbook breaks these concepts into micro-steps. Five-minute daily videos help you build your foundation gradually, plus you get coaching calls to troubleshoot and implement.

But here's the thing – I can't do it FOR you, just like I can't play basketball for my boys. I can give you the tools, coaching, and support, but you have to do the work.

Stop Waiting for Someone to Tell You What to Do

2025 is almost over. If you don't stop doing what you're already doing, nothing will change.

Whether you work with me, a therapist, or another coach, make a decision. Being on the treadmill of life, doing the same thing over and over, isn't giving you the health and quality of life you want.

A pumpkin loaf and pink drink won't make you happy. Real connection with your sister, reading a good book, or visiting a friend – that's what creates happiness.

Ready for more energy and less drama? Book a curiosity call with me. Let's figure out what needs to change and how you can become your own expert.

Ready to stop outsourcing your power and become your own weight loss expert? My 90-day foundation program teaches you to trust yourself around food. Join now to discover how you can change your mind and body!