What Kind of Perfectionist Are You?

Would you call yourself a perfectionist?

Or do you bristle a bit at that label?

Let me clarify something: Perfectionism is not just about being upset that you got a 98% instead of 100% on a test. It’s way more layered than that. It's sneaky. It's pervasive. And it's likely showing up in your life—even if you don’t recognize it yet.

In this post, I want to help you identify what kind of perfectionist you are, why that matters, and how you can start to finally break free from the patterns that keep you stuck.

Because here's the truth:
Perfectionism was never about being perfect.
It was about survival.

Perfectionism Is a Survival Strategy

If you fall into any of these common perfectionist patterns—pleasing, procrastinating, overdoing, or self-doubt—please know this:

You’re not broken.

You’re not lazy.

You’re not weak.

You developed these patterns to survive in the “tribe” you grew up in. Maybe you were told not to cry. Maybe your emotions weren’t safe. Maybe you were praised for doing everything “just right” and criticized when you didn’t.

You didn’t choose your childhood. But now, as an adult, you get to choose how you respond.

And that’s where healing begins.

Take the Quiz: What Kind of Perfectionist Are You?

This isn’t a 40-question deep dive. It’s 9 questions. That’s it.

You’ll discover whether you lean most into being:

• The Pleaser

• The Procrastinator

• The Over-doer

• The Self-Doubter

Each has a unique pattern—and a unique path forward.

Take the Quiz Here

The 4 Faces of Perfectionism (And What You Really Need)

1. The Procrastinator

You say things like, “When the timing’s right… when I lose weight… when life slows down…”

You organize the pantry instead of launching your dream. You scroll instead of starting. You’re not lazy. You’re scared—scared of judgment, scared of failure.

What you actually need?
Safety.
The safety to try, to mess up, and to keep showing up.

2. The Pleaser

You’re dependable, loving, selfless. You’re always there for everyone else… except yourself.

You say yes when you mean no. You buffer with food, scrolling, or spending to cope. Then you beat yourself up.

What you actually need?
Emotional permission.
To take up space. To stop apologizing for your needs.

3. The Over-Doer

You keep everything running. You hustle. You never stop. Rest feels dangerous.

Deep down, you fear that your worth is tied to productivity—that if you slow down, it will all fall apart.

What you actually need?
Peace.
You don’t need to earn rest. You need to allow it.

4. The Self-Doubter 

You replay conversations in your head. You over-apologize. You hesitate and hesitate again.

You’re stuck—not because you’re indecisive—but because your brain has been trained to scan for emotional danger.

What you actually need?
Self-trust.
Confidence is a skill you build, not a trait you’re born with.

So What Do You Do Next?

Step 1: Take the quiz. Be curious—not critical.
Step 2: Notice your pattern. Where are you giving your power away?
Step 3: Get help. Learn the tools that help you rewire your brain.

You don’t need another productivity hack or another diet plan.
You need a safer, more loving relationship with yourself.

And I can help you get there.

Inside Love Yourself Thin

In my program, we work through all of this.

We deal with the root cause of perfectionism.
We stop the mental chatter.
We stop hating our bodies.
We stop over-functioning and under-feeling.
And yes, we lose weight—but not through punishment. Through peace.

“I’ve lost my desire to go to flour and sugar.”
That’s what one member told me last week.
And that’s the power of this work.

Let Me Leave You With This:

Look in the mirror today. Not with criticism. Not through culture’s lens. Look with bold, fresh, honest eyes.

Say:
“This is my body. This is my story. Now, what do I want to do about it?”

And if any part of this resonated with you, come talk to me.
Join the membership. Learn the tools.

You don’t have to do this alone anymore.
Life is too short—and too beautiful—to stay stuck in your own head.

I’ll see you inside. 💗

Find out more about my membership and what I can offer you at www.daratomasson.com 

Ready for more?

Listen to this episode:

Watch this episode HERE