How to Stop Resentment, Regret, and Disillusionment from Sneaking In

Do you ever feel resentment, frustration, or regret after buying something you thought would change everything—only to end up disappointed? Maybe it was a quilting tool, a class, or even something unrelated like gardening. You were excited, invested, and hopeful… until it didn’t work out the way you imagined.

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. In this post, we’ll explore why these feelings happen, how your brain plays a role, and what you can do to move forward with peace instead of shame.

Why We Fall Into the Trap

Our brains are wired to look for safety, certainty, and quick solutions. That’s why “shiny” new offers—whether it’s a quilting course or the latest gadget—can feel irresistible.

But often, the promises we see online aren’t as clear as they seem. It’s like my daughter’s high school English class. Her teacher gave an “interpretation” assignment but actually wanted students to regurgitate his ideas. When my daughter and her friends brought creativity and fresh thinking, they got a bad grade.

That disconnect—between what’s promised and what’s delivered—creates disappointment. And when we bring that same pattern into online learning, shopping, or even self-improvement, it’s no wonder resentment shows up.

Naming the Feeling

The first step is honesty. Instead of beating yourself up, simply name what’s there:

• “I feel resentment because I thought this program would solve my problem for me.”

• “I feel regret because I bought this class but I’m not willing to put in the work.”

• “I feel disillusioned because the results didn’t match the promises.”

Once you tell the truth about what you’re feeling, you can decide what to do next—ask for a refund, roll up your sleeves and do the work, or release the purchase and move on.

Life Is Happening for You

It’s easy to slip into victim mode and believe life is happening to you. But what if it’s happening for you? What if every setback, disappointment, or challenge is shaping you into who you’re becoming?

This mindset shift is powerful. Instead of staying stuck in blame, you can ask:

• What am I meant to learn from this?

• Who do I want to be in this situation?

• How can I grow instead of shutting down?

Fear Will Ride Along, But Don’t Let It Drive

Elizabeth Gilbert tells the story of letting fear come along for the ride in her “car of life.” Fear can sit in the backseat, buckle up, and even chatter away—but it doesn’t get to drive.

The same applies to resentment, regret, and disillusionment. Acknowledge them, let them be present, but don’t hand them the steering wheel.

Moving Forward

As we head into the last stretch of the year, it’s the perfect time to check in with yourself. What do you want the end of 2025—and the start of 2026—to look like?

• Do you want to keep repeating the same patterns?

• Or do you want to show up differently—with more confidence, peace, and purpose?

This is the work I do with my clients: helping them label what’s happening, shift their mindset, and practice new patterns that create real change.

You don’t have to stay stuck in resentment. You don’t have to carry regret. And you don’t have to let disillusionment define your story.

You get to decide who you want to be moving forward.

👉 If you’re ready to stop putting yourself on hold and start creating the life you really want, I’d love to invite you into my coaching community. Book a curiosity call with me, and let’s explore what’s possible for you.

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