The Four Most Powerful Words for Permanent Weight Loss

For years, you've been told that the most powerful thing you can say to yourself is "I'm not doing this anymore" or "I will not give up" or "I'm going to make this happen no matter what."

That's the language of force. That's the language of war.

I want to propose four more powerful words.

The Hospital Story

About 10 years ago, I was in the hospital waiting for surgery. A teenage boy in the ward was swearing and being incredibly rude to his mother. I couldn't handle it anymore.

Before I knew it, I walked into his area and said: "It seems to me like you're having a hard time."

He looked at me like he wanted to punch me. But he was so off guard by my kindness that he started opening up. Someone was trying to break into his car. He got hurt defending it.

I used humor and compassion. The next thing I knew, we were laughing. His mother was dumbfounded. He apologized to her, and we moved forward.

Compassion transformed an enemy into an ally.

Why This Matters for Weight Loss

In all my years coaching women and in my own weight loss journey, so much of the reason I turned to food was because I did not want to be in my own head.

I was so mean to myself:

• "When are you ever going to figure this out?"
• "Why are you such a loser?"
• "Why can't you just be better?"

So many of my clients experience the same pain. They're in their head constantly, and it's so negative. They don't know how to feel their feelings.

We're adults – technically – but we still feel like that scared 5-year-old or rebellious 13-year-old.

The Four Most Powerful Words

When you have those terrible thoughts, you ask yourself:

"What do I need?"

When you ask with genuine curiosity and compassion – not judgment – everything changes.

"Am I reaching for food right now? What do I need?"

Am I upset? Afraid? Lonely? Overwhelmed?

When you can name that need, you can meet it directly. You don't need the food to do it for you anymore.

This Is What Compassion Looks Like

Not soft. Not weak. Powerful.

Force might work short-term, but long-term it escalates the war. Compassion transforms enemies into allies.

Next time you're face-to-face with your cravings, your resistance, your old patterns – don't ask:

• "Why can't I just do this?"
• "What's wrong with me?"

Instead, ask: "What do I need?"

Those four words are where permanent weight loss begins.

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Ready to learn how to ask "What do I need?" and transform your relationship with food? Book a call with Dara to find out how we can work together to find out what you need for your weight loss transformation!